Saga VI

Upstairs in my room after keynote and again “do I go do I stay?” “do I wear the dress I brought, or put on my pj’s?” I logged on to the Mommytalk pity party and quickly surprise them with a giveaway of one of the pink wireless mice I won from HP. That was fun and the feedback I had received from the earlier BlogHer post propelled me to get off my ass and go to the reception. I did not wear the dress (the one from Mel’s wedding) because I realized it didn’t have pockets and I did not bring a purse.

I didn’t have a clue where I was going (it was not at the hotel but at Macy’s) but I followed the throng of women walking the streets of SF and found my way easily enough (in heels even). Along the way I ran into Suebob and her red stapler. It was guess what? HOT CROWDED AND LOUD! Macy’s had roped off certain areas of the store for our private party. The first spot was the Purses section (free gift with purchase and an extra 11% off any sale price, these women were shopping!)

I see everyone milling about enjoying the free champagne so I start looking for the bar. I find a waiter and request a water,
Her: “Sorry ma’am can I give you a champagne?”
Me: “No, I asked for a water”
Her: “We have White tea if you would like.”
Me: “No, I would LIKE a water, please (emphasis on the PLEASE)”
Her: “I’m sorry we’re not serving water but you can have FREE champagne.”
Me: “Look, I know it is hard to fathom that not everyone that comes to these things is not totally enamored with your FREE champagne, but I am overheating in this small space filled with 1,000 women and would really like some water, PLEASE.”
Her: “uh”
Me: “Ok, it’s obvious you don’t actually have anything to do with that decision so point me towards someone who doesn’t play this game part time.”
She points me towards a Macy’s employee. Who doesn’t have a clue but is smart enough to point me towards a manager as soon as she makes eye contact with me.
Manager: “Can I help you ma’am?”
Me: “Only if you can procure a bottle of water.”
Manager: “Water will be served on the second floor when we move up there in 20 minutes.”
Me: “So, in the meantime I am supposed to be hot and thirsty. And don’t offer me champagne, did it occur to you people that not everyone drinks alcohol?”
Manager: “Ma’am, the caterers have done a fine job of supplying everyone with champagne and tea for this first part of the party.”

Me: “You are obviously not listening to me, I want water. Let me leave this section and find a drinking fountain, it is absolutely unheard of to not have water available.” It would not be difficult at this point to hear my voice anywhere else in the store even over the muzac at this point.
Manager (obviously getting nervous): “Let me see if I can find a Macy’s water for you at one of the registers.”
She walks away and comes back with an emergency water bottle that is kept behind the counter just in case.
Manager: “Ma’am, I would appreciate it if you didn’t advertise this. I got this only for you.”
Me (turning my back and raising my arm and walking away): “WATER, IS OVER HERE!”

This was to be a roving party and our next stop was the shoe department (are they pandering or what?). I took off my name badge and wandered around the store like a real customer, found the end point (7th floor furniture) put my name badge back on and told the gatekeeper I was just a little early. In I went.

I bought my copy of Sleep is for the Weak and found a comfy couch to rest my feet (did I mention I was wearing heels?). Others soon migrated that way and the caterers started passing hor douvres the tiny French dip sandwiches were absolutely delish!

I found @Geekmommy, @sendchocolate, @shannonrenee and @digitalsista to hang out with and it was a very nice evening.

At one point when we got back to the hotel, I ran into Casey, she approached me and welcomed me into a hug. I told her how inspiring she is to me (and how freakin adorable her Moosh is) and she was gracious enough to take a picture with me. If nothing else happened this weekend, that would have been enough for me.